Monthly Archives: December 2011

end of year reflections

the last day of the best year of my life. time off has brought clarity, distance from the rushing, permission to absorb, just be. my wish this time last year, had been thriving & balance. i have reached those goals. and it is not a rush to continue now. overjoyed to savor the fruition of dreams come true…

to the clients that have shared so much, traveled so far, invested in me, grew stronger & closer to yourselves & in friendships to me, thank you. for the brides that flew me across the country & trusted me to your memories, thank you. for friends that have hosted me, spent time with me, for assistants that were so committed & helpful, for my friends at home that were so understanding, for my family that encouraged my adventures, for my puppies that sulked low to the sound of rolling suitcases, for brady, my comfort…. all of you, all of this, thank you… i would be just a quiet girl with a burning dream if it were not for all of you.

2012 is my year of more balance, more specific now, health driven. as i grow older i realize that i belong first to myself, and then to others. i’ve made peace with the few that sought to drain me, dim me, the ones i can never please. i release it in a big way. i’ve stared heavy into unsolvable relationships and finally discarded what i cannot change.

i spent most of my life waiting for permission to be happy. as life sped up, as i grew more independent, it was as if i was running thru a funhouse throwing off the shards of expectations from society, religion & family. all of which seemed to want me to conform to something safe, something i am not and never will be. this awareness changed my life. those that truly love me, are now with me… i gather them up in my pocket, drawing from advice & laughter.

entering into the new year, i am reminded that all of this is fleeting. all this bounty, all this comfort & joy can change in an instant. for now, i am at the helm of my life, grateful for every day, every breath…