Monthly Archives: January 2007

jingling urgent butlers

last night the airport shuttle, complete with manic driver, raced the roller coaster streets of san francisco and deposited me in front of an empty mansion. armed with just a scarf, i was ill-equipped to deal with the cold and the rain… but i stood against the garage with my suitcases for a moment to watch the swirling mist under the streetlights before skulking to a side door to enter a memorized code. i found my way in the dark up the metal staircase to the front door and dragged my studio gear in. from all corners of the main level of the house i heard the jingling of feline collars. the three abysinnians gathered at my feet like urgent butlers. the house was cold, the main rooms were under construction. jd had left me there alone but my plans of assembling the gooferman klowns and vau de vire meowies got thwarted in the name of vicodin and a heating pad on my lower back. here i have back-to-back shoots for the next four days and i can’t bend down without screaming hogwart curses. the drug acted quickly… quicker than expected and caught me off-guard while in the hot tub. the racing pleasure steam meeting midnight sky became a psychedlic experience. i crawled into one of the bedrooms filled with grandfather clocks and paintings of drag queens with thick elaborate frames, switched off the blacklight and fell into immobilizing dreamtimes.

i awoke before dawn with the jingling urgent butlers surrounding me purring like a twisted chorus. i was face down and marilyn, the loudest and most magestic, was sitting on my back kneading her paws into the exact spot that hurt most. like a visit to a witch doctor i realized that there was hardly any pain at all anymore. seven hours of unmoving, a few yoga stretches, back into the hot tub again…. the city was covered in fog below me… the air jets greeted the dawn and with it, comes a giddy excitement for tonight’s costume ball…

purple sunrises and ugly ties

this morning i awoke with my head where my feet should go and my glitter slippers on when i thought for certain i had left them bedside. my pillows were not as i arranged them and my curtains were pulled back strangely… meowface sat regally on my chest purring proud as if he had swirled this reality… but as i rubbed his soft chin and watched the faint hint of sunrise from this new perspective of my velvet bed, i decided it must’ve been faeries… just last night agreements were set with world of froud for me to be the official photographer for faeriecon in pennsylvania and for my fourth year shooting faerieworlds in oregon… and for things to be playfully askew just hours later… must be the fae…

sunrise this side of the bed is a gift… every day starts in various shades of purple, my favorite color… when i was really little i had no favorite color… it was only when i saw my first sunrise, when i was 8 years old and helping my father pick out ties to wear to work, that purple began to make sense.

i remember everything about those mornings. the click of the hallway light, the glow under my door. dad would be in his white undershirt with three equally ugly ties held out and i would help him pick the lesser of three evils based on the suit he chose for the day. my duty done, i would sit with my dog in front of the sliding glass doors downstairs and watch the sun come up through the trees of the backyard, the one i always wanted to plant strawberries in but never did…

sometimes dad would go into work later and i would watch him shave listening to ‘bridge over troubled water’ and ‘crimson & clover’. he had this instant heater-upper shaving cream contraption that i thought was brilliant. i would watch from the door as he made lawn mower lines down his face…and when he caught me in the mirror, he’d turn around and put a dollup on my nose before i ran away… ah those mornings of ugly ties, shaving cream and english leather cologne…

and now it is an arsenal of striped tights that i pick from…
and now it is my cat that i watch sunrises with…
and now it is the scent of amber oil that fills my room…

but i always have my purple sunrises and my father to remind me who i am…