Monthly Archives: January 2004

dream – reckless magick

daniel, diana, alexis, roland, jenna and debbie and i were all on a trip. somehow it became just me and daniel and it was nighttime and we were flying over mangroves. i was sitting on daniel’s lap. we were gaining speed. no planes. just magick. just then, searchlights found us and made us come down. alexis was there with a sunburned face and we met up with everyone else at this flourescently lit booth, like an ice cream stand at a fair, where we had to pay a fine for reckless magick. daniel wrote out a check for $42 and signed it. that was the penalty for flying. but the feeling of flight stayed with me when i awoke. daniel and i were cloudbusting and making sense of stars. i awoke thinking of career and, since daniel’s career is most impressive to me, i guess that is what the dream meant…


i changed from traveller to arriver in an airport bathroom in baltimore and ran through people to the exit. jen, my bestest friend/sunshine girl, was standing there with a big sign with my name on it and a sunshine burst in green marker. we immediately begin a continuation of our instant message chats online and it feels as if we saw each other yesterday. in reality, it has been a YEAR.

we drove back to her place and i played with her fat cat stuart, and we caught up some more before meeting my family at an italian restaurant. we’d had a long island iced tea at the bar and some red wine with dinner so we were feeling no pain. it was surreal to see everyone again in new weather, in a new state, when only last week we all met in mexico. we are truly spoiled..surely and completely.

after dinner, jen and i went to a bar near her house and met up with paula and fran. we sunk some change into the jukebox and selected songs by bowie and siouxsie among other greats. we sat on bouncy seats in the back in the glow of a neon ‘C’ above the bar. i opted for water eventually and had a great time catching up with friends. paula is getting married in august and wants to fly me back to baltimore to shoot her wedding video. even more incentive for me to buy my dream camera and get absorbed with the avid editing program. i have no doubt i can be successful with this idea of starting my own film company…as long as i make it happen and take full responsibility for it consciencely, my business will be a smashing success. i feel it… mustn’t think too far just yet though. dad reigned me in, and encouraged me to read up on tax law (schedule C and other things i don’t quite understand just yet).

the next morning jen dropped me off at towson university where i ran through campus to the graduation ceremony. she’d dropped me off at towson and what i thought was a short walk to the ceremony turned into a long line for a school bus to take us to the entrance of the event, a huge line. they’d shut the doors and i missed her walking in but i took great photos of her actually getting her diploma. i sat next to dad and he held my legs when i stood up on my chair to get ‘THE’ shot. we stood by trees outside taking photos afterwards and then went to the Cheesecake Factory in the Harbor for lunch.

after lunch, dad dropped me at jen’s house. he came upstairs to give jen a hug. i kissed his cheek goodbye “i won’t see you til june!” i whined to him. and he rubbed my back before heading back downstairs to his car. jen made kugel and we took photos of things she wants me to sell for her on ebay. when the kugel was done, she picked off the crunchy parts and made dinner. i drank a glass of ginger ale with a splash of happiness in the form of jim beam and we talked more. we sat on her couch going over her application for the peace corps. if she gets accepted, it’s 6 months of training, 2 years of service and when she is done, $6,000 to start a new life, which she thinks will be in california (yaaaay!) her only regrets are giving her (fat) cat to a friend and missing the birth of her friends babies. she also would hope not to meet someone to cloud her intention. it’s something she always wanted to do, join the peace corps. and i hope she gets in. i even offered to take her (fat) cat but considering his age, she’d just give him to erik.

jen drove me to adrienne’s last night where i printed out my boarding passes for today’s flights and called tsafi. he’d had a great time snowboarding at big bear and was paralyzed, as is usual one’s first time snowboarding. i played with adrienne’s kittens until i got tired. i laid on her pull-out couch and wished a kitty would come snuggle me. just then, one of them came and snuggled under the covers, just like gabe used to do. i missed him so much just then that i cried quietly under the covers into purring for my sweet handsome man, gabe, now dead over 2 years now. i can never have cats again…

i slept only a few hours and adrienne drove me to the airport before sunrise. i landed in minneapolis to minus one degree temperatures. there was snow on the runway and walking down the hallway to the terminal i smelled that familiar winter smell, the only opportunity this year. “winter, eh… you can keep it!” i think to myself as i look out on frozen square patches of farms and iced-over lakes as i head back to my safe, sunny los angeles.


at yet another airport gate before yet another flight. i am seeing my family more now then when i lived an hour from them in NYC! adrienne graduates college tomorrow and so we all converge in baltimore, maryland.

gil and anat, friends from israel, are here visiting. they are on an ‘around the world’ adventure with previous stops to the far east, new zealand and fiji. in three days they will go to canada for snowboarding for four months and then come back to us in los angeles. they have been together for 7 years and share the same adventurous sprit…surfing, snowboarding, travel. anat and i call each other ‘achoti’ (my sister) and we go shopping together, giving each other honest opinions on how clothes fit. she let me do her make-up for new years eve. i even dyed a few strips of her hair red. she is silly and fun to be with, competitive wiht gil and crazy talented with cards. she doesn’t like to drink alcohol but she loved the cosmopolitan drinks i made for her. she has never been to a dentist but has perfect teeth. her father is a gynocologist, sensitive and caring and her mother is tough. gil is a great friend to tsafi. he’s known him since they were 15 years old. we are loving having them here! it’s hard to be away for the weekend from them but i know they will come back to us again in april for a long time.